yosuke ❝gay thoughts caught me❞ hanamura (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
youraffection) wrote2016-05-21 11:06 pm
youraffection) wrote2016-05-21 11:06 pm
Entry tags:
[IC] Inbox @ ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
cerealia
|
video • voice • text ❝ You've reached Yosuke! You know what to do. ❞ [ BEEP! ] action [ Available at his apartment, working, or otherwise. ] 
|
no subject
...What?
[ Incredulous, he's incredulous or whatever other SAT word one can shove in there. Yosuke gaps like a fish, the gears and wheels in his brain grinding to a halt. The "L" word is a big deal. ]
...He...he said the "L" word...and then broke up with you?
[ That's just...
Now it's Yosuke's turn to raise his voice. ]
Yu...people--who the hell does that? To anyone? What the hell is that supposed to accomplish? If you really love someone, you don't tell them that when you know you're about to hurt them!
[ Yeah, there he goes, crushing his can. Now the liquid bubbles out the top and dribbles down onto his pants. He mutters an aw shit and just...sets the can away. He doesn't care about it right now. ]
I don't know what the hell he was thinking! I can't wrap my mind around it. Isn't telling someone how much you care supposed to be winning them back? Why the hell would he leave that to the last minute after he's decided it's over? Dude, no--I've gotta agree with him on one point. You do deserve better. That's not love. I don't know what it is--maybe it's just...weird and misguided, but that's not...that's not how you treat someone you love. That's not how you confess to someone. You don't throw that in their face and then walk away! If he's hurting, that doesn't mean he has to hurt you too!
no subject
And then he just lets Yosuke rant, spilling out all the words that Yu can't say, has been having trouble phrasing in his own mind. He only glances at his best friend during that last sentence.
If he's hurting, that doesn't mean he has to hurt you too!
... but he had. He'd hurt Yu worse than he'd thought he was capable of hurting over this. He looks away again and has to stay silent for a moment to breathe and swallow down the sudden lump in his throat. ]
I don't get it, [ he admits very softly, ducking his chin so he can rest his forehead on the bridge his fingers still make. ]
I wanted to walk beside him. For us to support each other. But this whole time... I was blind to his true feelings. Maybe that's my fault.
[ He lifts his head and stares forward again, intense and tight-lipped. ]
... I don't know how I'm going to face him after this.
no subject
...This is a Yu that shouldn't have to be. He shouldn't have to be like this.
Yosuke exhales sharply through his nose, clearly attempting to reign himself back in. He's still mad--oh like hell he's pissed off--but Yu doesn't need another storm. Yu needs a friend. ]
...I know.
[ He holds on to both of his thighs now, eyes dropping to where the toes of their shoes almost touch. ]
You're the type of person who wants to help people. People you know...people you don't know. But...you're not a mind reader. You can't know what everyone is thinking. He obviously had reasons to hide it. The truth--it's...dirty and ugly sometimes. We know that better than anyone, right? The things about ourselves that we don't want to face but have to learn to accept.
[ Their shadows. He wonders, did Minato ever have to deal with his own? ]
...Even if he didn't mean for it to be like this, it...it still is, man. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. And if he's this...if he's had reservations, if he's been hiding things for whatever reason and didn't think they were something he could share with someone he supposedly loves...it's tough, but it's not supposed to be easy, right? The people you love...you don't care about them because it's easy. You care about them because you accept everything that they are, and know that if you believe in each other you can be the best that you can be. Sometimes we hurt people we care about, but it shouldn't be...an excuse for anything.
[ He looks up to Yu again, trying to catch his gaze. ]
If he's not on the same level as that...it's not your job to bring him there, Yu. You've got to take care of yourself. You've already pointed out that your feelings matter too, don't they? It's your heart on the line too. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do...and that means that it's okay that you can't help everyone. If he can't face it, how is anyone else supposed to?
no subject
The people you love...you don't care about them because it's easy. You care about them because you accept everything that they are, and know that if you believe in each other you can be the best that you can be.
... yeah, that is true, isn't it?
Yu finds himself suddenly strangely aware of his own heartbeat, and ignores it by breathing through it and focusing on what Yosuke has to say.
Is it okay that he can't help everyone? On a practical level he knows that, he's only human, but... there's a reason others rely on him so much. If he can't do what they need or what they expect of him, then...
No, he can't go down that line of logic. It's pointless, and he knows he'd tell another person never to be so hard on themselves as all that. (but no one else is the leader)
Finally Yu bobs his head in a resigned nod, even though he still doesn't seem totally convinced. ]
I know. If he won't listen to me, there's nothing more I can do. It just...
[ He rubs a hand over his chest, the palm of it landing just below his left shoulder, in the middle of that huge bite mark that now mars his skin. Far from being angry now, he just seems ... sad, and tired. ]
I can't stop thinking about what if and why, but dwelling on those things won't help me. All I can do is move forward.
no subject
Which includes a shoulder.
When Yu starts to press his hand against his chest, Yosuke scoots a little closer, shifting so that their thighs press together. He slips a hand around Yu's shoulder and nods. ]
Yeah.
[ He tries to sound encouraging. ]
I know that doesn't mean it's all gonna stop running through your head, but...that's what we're here for, right? When that stuff is driving you crazy and you can't think about anything else. You know you can come to me.
[ "We" changed to "me" fairly quickly, maybe Yosuke doesn't even notice it. ]
...I really wanted to like the guy for your sake, at least. I don't really know him other than...through all of this. You know that I had some of my own reservations from the start, and maybe that makes me biased, but...I'm sorry this ended so shitty. Really sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this.
no subject
Instead he tries a smile. It's not quite genuine and doesn't touch his eyes, but it's there. It's all he can muster up. But at least, despite all odds and all feeling right now, it's something he can still put on. ]
Yeah. I'm grateful for you guys. I know you'll have my back. Plus, it's never hard to stay busy.
[ Little knowing just how busy things will get in short order, but that's something else entirely.
If he noticed the switch from "we" to "me," he gives no sign. But that "you" may not be a general you, and if it isn't, well, that would probably be on purpose.
His expression shifts into something a little more troubled at what Yosuke says next. Yu opens his mouth to speak, pauses, and looks away briefly. ]
... however I might feel, please don't hold it against him. As upset as I've been, I know Minato-san is hurting, too. I ... [ Yu grimaces, dropping both hands into his lap and letting the can of tea dangle from his fingertips, between his legs. ] I shouldn't have said what I did about what happened to him. He kept it hidden for a reason. Even if he shouldn't have lied to me, that should have been his to tell anyone else, not mine.
[ It's clear in his face and his voice that he really, truly regrets spilling the beans about Minato's death. His jaw works for a brief moment before he looks at Yosuke again. ]
... I'll be alright. [ Quietly, gently. ] ... I just need time.
no subject
Likewise...Minato isn't his friend. But... ]
Oh...dude. [ He blinks, then shakes his head with a weary smile. ] I'm not gonna pretend and say he's my favorite person right now, but I'm not gonna go...hunting him down or anything. He hurt you and of course I don't like that, but...I get it. He's got his own shit to work through. I'm not gonna tell anyone, don't worry.
[ He thought that would go without saying, but maybe that's more of Yu's guilt speaking than anything else. Yosuke has no problem assuring him if he needs it. Like he said, he doesn't really know Minato outside of this situation, which probably isn't entirely fair to the guy and definitely clouds Yosuke's ideas of him, but something that damning...no, Yosuke's used to having people propagate rumors and talk behind his back. He wouldn't do that to someone else.
Yosuke gives his friend's shoulder a squeeze. ]
You'll have all the time you want, partner. [ A beat as he gives Yu's knee a gentle nudge with his own. ] And I'll be right here when you need me.
no subject
He lets his head drop between his shoulders, sighing heavily through the warm, solid grip on his shoulder. Finally, he opens the can of tea and lifts it to take a sip. ... and then another, because he didn't realize how dry his throat had gone with all this talking and all this wrenching emotion.
A certain fondness, and immense gratitude, fills his expression when he looks at Yosuke again. He doesn't feel ready to face ... a lot of things. Minato, his other friends, the world. But he doesn't have a choice. He can't stop moving, stop doing, stop being the leader.
But maybe ... maybe it won't be as bad as it feels like it ought to be.
Not with Yosuke here. ]
Thanks, Yosuke. For everything.
no subject
When Yu turns to look at him, Yosuke is smiling calmly and warmly. He gives an airy laugh and shakes his head gently. ]
Hey, you don't need to thank me. We're partners, right?
no subject
[ Yu affirms the term with a great deal of warmth. His gratitude for Yosuke goes beyond words. They've already gone through so much in the short time that Yosuke has been here, and really, Yosuke would have every right to still be angry with him. But not only has his best friend forgiven him, but he's here now when Yu needs support the most...
With a quiet sigh and a quirk of his smile, Yu gives Yosuke a nudge. A friendly gesture, the sort of thing they'd normally do.
He's not okay, really. It will be some time before he's okay again. But this -- at least this is something. ]