youraffection | [IC] Inbox @ recolle

[ The fact that he's accepting his feelings for Yu, a guy, after being unable to even acknowledge the thought a few weeks ago is a big thing. Being able to be comfortable with that in front of other people will take some work, even in the dark of 4 in the morning. But it's not about Yu--it's about himself. And he'll figure it out eventually.

Just over an hour into their relationship, though, he's very thankful Yu doesn't comment on it. He's calmed down a little after stepping onto the bus and taking his seat next to Yu. Luckily the bus driver doesn't give half a shit which high schoolers--well, one high schooler and his newly graduated friend--are doing.

Yosuke looks a little ashamed, but he nudges Yu's shoulder back and bumps their knees together as a way to show that he does want to be close. ]

Dude, it's dark outside, we can barely see anything.

[ Knowing that is really the core of the reason that Yu isn't upset. This thing between them is so new still, so raw, that he can understand Yosuke still struggling to come to terms with it. Frankly, he's kind of having a hard time believing it himself. What if he wakes up and finds out that no, Yosuke wasn't okay with it, that he really was just making stupid, baseless assumptions and he not only hasn't got a boyfriend, but has lost his best friend--?

They've got their own insecurities to deal with. And they will, slowly, one step at a time. There's no need to rush.

Yu will give a minute shake of his head - there's nothing to feel bad about - and simply lean a little against Yosuke's shoulder. Nothing perceptible as strange even if you were sitting across from them, which the bus driver isn't, but enough to show he's glad to be close, too. ]

Then you're not trying hard enough. Still, if you're not up to the challenge, we can try something else...

[ Guess they'll just have to see how the morning goes?

Yosuke offers a small, grateful smile. They don't need to say it, which is nice. Yosuke has always felt like he's got a pretty good understanding going on with Yu, but sometimes their understanding does seem to go beyond words.

Yosuke sighs, though good-naturedly. ]

Okay...I spy with my little eye something...black.

[ You know.

All the seats on the bus. ]

[ Any anxiety that built up in the past few minutes melts away when Yosuke smiles at him. Yu is more in love than he wants to admit with that smile. Surreptitiously, he'll reach out and curl his hand around Yosuke's, keeping their joined hands hidden on the seat between them. No one has to know. Undoubtedly the driver wouldn't care, but Yosuke would care, so it can be their little secret.

Yu doesn't even look around to spot something black. He's got eyes only for Yosuke, his expression almost absurdly fond. It's clear how lovestruck he is. ]

The floor?

[ To be fair, it is black.

And when it comes to his turn, Yu will also say he spies something black, which not only breaks the rules, but is a reference to the sky, which he can only sort of see. He is too preoccupied with staring at, leaning against, being with Yosuke to really care.

All in all, it's a very warm and peaceful 20 minute trip.

Eventually Yu will glance around, trying to make out the dim scenery. It's past 4... ]

Is this going to be our stop?

[ Yu is such a dork.

Yosuke is totally okay with holding hands where no one can see it--in a deserted bus with an uninterested driver? Perfect. He'll even indulge Yu's silly game, although it becomes increasingly obvious that Yu has little interest in the game itself. By the time that they roll down the street Yosuke knows is theirs, he's pink in the cheeks and unable to make actual eye contact with his new boyfriend anymore. ]

Y-Yeah--this is it!

[ He reaches across Yu to pull the cord, signaling their request for a stop. With the ding, Yosuke lets go of Yu's hand and takes a spot near the back door, waiting for Yu to accompany him. The driver pulls up to the stop and opens the door, waving off the kids without much of a word. Stepping down onto the sidewalk feels a little surreal, mostly because it's dark and he's tired, though street lamps dot the residential streets every here and there.

As soon as Yu is off the bus and he's certain that it's rounded the corner and out of sight, it's Yosuke who reaches for Yu's hand.

Because he can, dammit. ]

It's this way...

[ He tugs the other boy along, heading toward a corner and turning left. ]

[ It's a good thing they're here. Any longer and Yu might not have been able to resist sneaking a kiss, not with that look on his boyfriend's face. Shy and pleased - it's a pretty good look on him.

He'll stand without any protest, though he'll offer a quiet "thank you" to the driver before joining Yosuke on the street. The bus leaves them behind, and they're quite alone in the cool darkness of the night. Yu is about to open his mouth to speak when Yosuke takes his hand, and that shuts him up pretty effectively. Fit to burst, he just kind of lets Yosuke tug him along, not even trying to hide the fact that he's got a charmed little grin on his face.

Once they're nearing the house: ]

We'll be able to get in without waking anyone?

[ Curiously, a sincere question. ]

[ A quiet, short walk to his street isn't bad at all. Yosuke wasn't lying when he said it was close to his house, maybe about a five to seven minute walk depending on how fast they're going. They turn down a street off the main road, lined with rows of houses of varying sizes, but nothing too outlandish. The houses are probably about ten to fifteen years old and quiet this time of night.

Yosuke nods as he pulls out his key with his free hand. ]

Yeah. It should be just my mom home. Her bedroom is right above the garage, so...

[ Yosuke tugs on Yu's hand again and leads him through a wooden gate and into the backyard. It's hard to see what's going on there, but there are a large amount of flowers, shrubs, and even a garden towards one side. They pass a couple of bikes and slip under a suspended porch where another door sits. Yosuke uses his key and lets them inside quietly, revealing the kitchen.

He shrugs as he looks to Yu with a grin on his face. When he speaks, he's whispering. ]

Just stay quiet. We'll pass her on the first right up the stairs, okay?

[ It's nice here. Quiet. Different from his uncle's neighborhood, but no less nice. Yu himself hasn't lived in a house in a long time; not since his parents divorced and his mother and Souji moved away. Yu and his father had stayed, but not for long, and since then, it's always just been a succession of apartments. There's a weird nostalgia he associates with houses now; a sense of family he hasn't had since he was small.

Obediently Yu will follow into the backyard, curiosity getting the better of him as he glances around. There's not much to see in the dark, but he's still interested. He's been to Yosuke's home before, of course, but only once, and they went straight to Yosuke's room. He can't help thinking he wants a chance to see the house better, to spend more time here, even if he knows that will be difficult, if not impossible. He'll be Yosuke's best friend as far as his parents concern probably until at least Yosuke has also graduated high school, and even then... well, it will depend on Yosuke's comfort. He's fine with waiting. But the place Yosuke lives has a certain allure to him, something he wants to get to know. This is where the boy I like grew up.

Still, he has no objections. Once they're in the kitchen Yu stops his curious glancing, instead smiling warmly. He won't whisper in return. Instead, he presses a finger to his lips and winks to show his understanding.

They manage to reach his room without incident, even if Yu's eyes track Yosuke's mother's door as they pass. Once they're safely inside, Yu will let out a sigh. He talks in low tones, but it's not quite a whisper. ]

We made it... and it's only--

[ A brief pause as he pulls out his phone to check the time. ]

--4:15. Still pretty early.

[ rather blasé. ]

[ Though unlikely, Yosuke was worried about waking up his mom and having to explain why he was sneaking in the house at for in the morning with a boy she's never met. Of course he knows that there would be no way she would assume anything untoward was happening between them, but still. Yosuke's imagination can be a scary place sometimes.

Thankfully, they made it through just fine. Once Yosuke closes the door, he leans back against it, mirroring Yu's big sigh. Who knew that could be so nerve-wracking? ]

Hm?

[ Oh. Right. Yosuke stands up straight. ]

Yeah, we really did.

[ Stepping over to the side, he turns on a lamp by his bed rather than the overhead light--too bright. ]

Well, this is my humble ado--or, er...wait, you've been here already...

[ Awkward. Yosuke laughs quietly and rubs the back of his neck. Except the last time Souji was with him. Now it's just the two of them. ]

[ To be honest, at this point, standing feet away from a bed, sleep is fast-becoming the only thing Yu can think about. Unable to entirely help himself, Yu will move towards and take a seat on the edge of Yosuke's bed, and this time when he sighs it has a different meaning. It's bone deep and very exhausted. It's been a long few days.

Yu will lace his fingers and use them as a bridge to rest his chin, watching Yosuke with a sort of tired amusement. ]

Just once. This is my first time seeing it at night.

Y-Yeah...

[ The first time being in there alone. With Yu.

His new boyfriend.

They're tired, he knows. Yosuke looks away for a moment as he shrugs his jacket off, letting it rest against the back of his desk chair. He taps his fingers against the back, then...takes a seat next to Yu.

His new boyfriend. ]

Kinda different from last time...huh?

[ He bumps Yu's shoulder with his. ]

[ Yu isn't thinking about it. He knows in a factual, surface way that he's alone with his boyfriend in his boyfriend's bedroom without anyone the wiser that they're there, and they're hormonal teenagers and anything could happen. But it's not sinking in, not really, because he is so sleepy and kind of just wants to kiss Yosuke a little and then pass out for a year.

Which is why he leans right into Yosuke once his boyfriend sits down, laying his head on Yosuke's shoulder and letting his eyes shut. ]

Mhm.

[ A beat, and: ]

Last time we didn't cuddle, [ he says, rather plainly. They haven't cuddled yet, of course, but that's clearly where his mind is going. ]

[ Well, Yu isn't wrong. Yosuke exhales through his nose, stiffening a little as Yu rests his head on his shoulder, though he slowly relaxes after a moment. ]

I...guess that means there's a first time for everything, huh?

[ He glances down along his nose to the silver mop of hair now touching his cheek. ]

[ With a hum, Yu turns his head and presses an idle kiss to Yosuke's shoulder before sitting up and stretching, with a yawn that makes his face scrunch up and tears gather in the corners of his eyes. ]

Can I borrow something to sleep in?

[ The kiss sends a shock down his spine and Yosuke goes rigid as soon as Yu sits up. ]

U-um...

[ Clothes? Clothes. Cough. ]

Y-Yeah...one sec...

[ He gets up and shuffles over to his closet, sorts through a couple things, and then pulls out a t-shirt and shorts. There's a pause as he holds it out and up. ]

We're about the same size, yeah?

Yeah, that should work just fine.

[ Yu will stand and take the clothes from Yosuke. He might notice that this time, Yu doesn't separate them by asking Yosuke to step out or stepping out himself. Instead he sets the articles on the bed and simply strips his clothes off so he's down to his boxers.

He is facing away from Yosuke, so all Yosuke will really get is a nice view of his back. It's more muscular than you might expect - a swimmer's build through and through. Soon enough, though, he's hopped into the shorts and is pulling on the t-shirt. It fits him more snugly than it would fit Yosuke, but it's comfy, and that's all that matters to him.

He's remarkably unselfconscious about all of this. Probably because he's in zombie mode thanks to exhaustion. ]

[ Yu just--oh.

Yosuke probably shouldn't just stand there and watch but that's exactly what he does. He'd been to swim practice with Yu before, so it's not like he hasn't seen him shirtless before, but this...this just...it's different now. Isn't it? It feels like it is.

So, yes. He watches. He watches his boyfriend strip and then put on his clothes.

Man.

Oh. He's done?

Yosuke blinks. ]

That's...um...looks like it fits, heh heh...

[ Awkward. He's making it awkward, isn't he?

Well, he should...Yosuke looks down at his jeans--his dirty jeans. He sighs, shuffling back towards his closet and finds another pair of shorts and shirt for himself. He's kind of awkwardly in the corner as he throws off his shirt and jeans, drops them in the hamper, and then throws on something fresh.

It's a lot less fluid than Yu, tired or not. And leaves him standing there, turning around to face his boyfriend as he pulls down the front of his shirt. Which is silly. ]

Hm?

[ Yu turns to glance at Yosuke at the comment, not really catching the meaning of it. He just blinks a few times and plops his butt down on the bed again. He too watches Yosuke change, though somewhat distractedly. He's not really taking it in like he normally might. All that really happens is he thinks quietly to himself that Yosuke has nice shoulders.

It's not till Yosuke turns to face him and then simply stands there that it finally, finally sinks in. Why Yosuke might be feeling awkward or off guard. They're boyfriends, they just started dating an hour or two ago, and they just stripped in front of each other and are going to sleep in the same bed.

Ah.

Good thing he's too tired to freak out about it. Instead he pushes himself to his feet again and moves to stand in front of Yosuke. He considers for a moment, his expression thoughtful, and then tugs Yosuke into a loose hug. ]

It's just me.

[ Simple as you please. He turns his face into Yosuke's hair. ]

Come on. Ready to get some sleep?

[ He's making a big deal out of nothing, isn't he? He really doesn't want to say it lest it puts undo pressure on Yu who seems to think this is all 100% normal. It isn't until Yu embraces him that Yosuke releases a shallow breath.

There's a bit of a delay, but Yosuke returns the hug, his arms loosely looping around Yu's waste. He ndos. ]

Yeah...let's go to bed.

[ Totally innocent sleepover.

As he pulls back, he offers Yu a quiet, uncertain smile, but fights against it. He keeps his eyes on the floor as he leads Yu back to the bed. Popping down on the side, Yosuke scoots backwards to allow room for Yu to move in next to him. ]

[ It's kind of a big deal. And Yu gets that. Honestly he does. He's too tired to really properly assess how this should be affecting him emotionally, and he's also not thinking about it. He likes Yosuke; he's exhausted; and he knows they're not going to do anything more than fall asleep in each other's arms. The thought is actually comforting to him, after their earlier fears of separating and going to their homes alone. No, this is way better.

Yu will take the seat that Yosuke offers, quickly flopping over onto his side with a puff of a sigh. He'll shut his eyes and simply lay there, but one of his hands will seek out Yosuke, tugging on whatever he can reach - a wrist or a piece of shirt, whichever comes first - until Yosuke also lies down.

Only then does Yu reopen his eyes to watch his boyfriend, quiet and serious. ]

... you okay?

[ It's honestly been a while since Yosuke has had a legit sleepover with anyone...Keigo doesn't count, they're cousins. But even so, it feels so, so much more important when it's something that you're interested in. Like, interested in. Which he is, even if the thought in and of itself is still scary.

Yosuke watches Yu move in beside him, nervous and curious at the same time. Once Yu is settled, Yosuke reaches across him to turn off the light. For a moment the room goes completely black and--...and he feels Yu searching, finally finding his sleeve. At his beckoning, Yosuke's face heats up, but he lies down as well, also on his side.

It takes his eyes a moment to adjust, but the little bits of light filtering through his blinds seem to reflect off of Yu's silvery hair and eyes and it really doesn't help his heightened awareness of how close they are. ]

Um...

[ Yosuke swallows, voice low as his gaze drops to stare at Yu's clavicle. ]

Yeah...just--I'm overreacting, I guess.

[ It feels strangely comforting to be back in the dark. The same way all this started. The way things were at school, at the playground... it feels right for the moment.

Letting his eyes adjust to the dark is a somewhat annoying process. Rather, he just wishes it would go faster so he could clearly make out Yosuke's face, to see what expression he's making as he speaks in that voice. That nervous, uncertain tone... Yosuke is definitely not totally comfortable right now. Maybe he'll see Yu's tiny frown. ]

You're not. [ seriously, and with conviction. ] It's normal to be nervous, isn't it? ... we have pretty unique circumstances, but I don't think most couples fall asleep together right after they agree to start dating. [ with faint humor. ]

... you know nothing's going to happen that you don't want, right?

[ It is normal to be nervous. Right. He's...he's glad Yu gets it. Not that he thinks Yu wouldn't, but--well, it doesn't have to make a total amount of sense, his neurosis. Yosuke sighs, finally letting his gaze trail back up to Yu's face. He's...he's soft in the dim light. Soft and him being this close is a little less nerve-wracking.

Yosuke nods, hair sticking a bit to the pillow. ]

Yeah, I know.

[ He huffs a sigh. ]

Sorry, I'm not trying to be lame. It's not that I think you--ever would, or...you know. I'm--

[ He stumbles over his words sometimes, being tired probably doesn't help. ]

--I'm glad you're here. Really.

[ Carefully, Yu lifts a hand and cups the side of Yosuke's face, his thumb sweeping gently over the moonlit plane of skin. He doesn't do anything besides that; just slowly sweeps his thumb back and forth as he watches Yosuke talk. ]

You're not lame at all.

[ A faint smile. ]

I'm glad I'm here, too. ... more than I can say.

[ It's tough for him to put into words. But he'll shut his eyes and shift so they're ... close. Not quite close enough to kiss, but their hair will intermingle on the pillows. ]

[ It's a sweet gesture that first makes his heartbeat twice as quickly, but as he settles into it, Yosuke finds it strangely comforting. It's impossible to ignore the heat of Yu's hand or the puff of his breath as he moves closer, of course, but Yosuke slowly starts to allow himself to fully drink in the other boy's presence. They're not running around, he's not being a little crazy and playing a little hard to get, they're not in transit, they're not sneaking anymore.

It's just them. Calm. Quiet.

Like Yu.

Yosuke's eyes stay open for a little while. Though Yu's face is blurry this close, a silly part of him thinks that as soon as he closes his eyes Yu will disappear.

A very silly thought indeed.

So, instead, Yosuke rubs his cheek into Yu's hand. It's nice. He's nice. Carefully Yosuke reaches out to grasp onto the shirt Yu's wearing as scoots his head a little closer and--

--oops, bonks his forehead with Yu's. ]

S-Sorry...

[IC] Inbox @ recolle

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