yosuke ❝gay thoughts caught me❞ hanamura (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
youraffection) wrote2017-02-04 07:47 pm
youraffection) wrote2017-02-04 07:47 pm
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[IC] Overlow @ ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
recolle
Because Captcha is ridiculous.
[IC] Overlow @
Because Captcha is ridiculous.
Because Captcha is ridiculous.
REDŽO (SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER)
[ Is it really, though? "Marty" is already a little apprehensive about the next batch of children. How long can they keep this up? He's used to being around kids from work, but directly having to accommodate them all the time is...different.
And then the kid walks up and--
"Jayden"?
Oh shit, he knows this kid! Yosuke's eyes widen, glancing back and forth between "Santa" and the child. ]
no subject
Hi, Santa.
Tell me, how good do you think you've been this year?
Very good.
Really?
[ There's clear skepticism in Santa's voice, but Jayden just smiles and puffs up proudly as he affirms his previous answer. ]
Yep!
Hm, that's funny. One of the other elves told me that you tell your neighbors their hair is stupid.
[ This is not the response Jayden was expecting, and after a moment of confusion, his eyes go wide at the terrible realization that Santa really does see everything. ]
So, what are you asking me to bring you?
Um... [ He suddenly sounds a lot less confident about his prospects here. ] A Nerf Mega TwinShock?
[ Oh, wonderful. As if the kids in Redžo's building weren't already bad enough without fancy projectiles.
He glances over toward Jayden's dad to make sure he's still distracted before leaning in and lowering his voice slightly. ]
...Well. If you do get one, just know that if you ever use it on any of the grown-ups in your apartment, Santa's going to take it away and leave the broken pieces in the stairwell on the east side of the building for you to find.
With a lump of coal.
no subject
Santa sure just threatened a kid.
WELP. ]
...Th-Thank you for visiting the North Pole!
[ Jayden looks properly horrified and Yosuke does his best to usher the kid back over to his parents. ]
I'm sure you'll be a very good boy until Christmas!
[ Because, apparently, he needs to be or else??
When Yosuke walks back, he's balking. He whispers harshly, ]
Dude!
no subject
[ And no one else seemed to be paying attention, so hey. No harm, no foul. ]
God, what time is it?
[ He cranes his neck to check the big festive clock over there near the start of the line, but... oh, that's not an actual clock, that's just a "Santa will return at ____" thing where someone moves the hands. Well, whatever, they have to be at least halfway through with this, right?
He decides he'll just go ahead and believe that rather than risk finding out it's only been fifteen minutes or something. He's already getting a headache from this wig and hat and all these high-pitched voices, he doesn't know if he could handle knowing there's another forty-five minutes of this crap ahead. He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead for a moment before looking back up to see who's up next.
...Where's their kid? ]
no subject
[ At least he's fairly certain that's how it works. Fairly.
Though honestly, if he wants to fuck off, Yosuke could just change the sign so they could leave, he thinks. But would they get in trouble? ]
Santa!
[ Yosuke turns to the little girl who called out, bouncing happily on up. Oops, time to do his job. ]
Hello there, welcome to the North Pole!
[ Yosuke leans over to greet her. ]
Have you been a good girl this year?
[ She nods. ]
Mhm! And I brought Santa a present, too!
Oh really? Well, why don' yo go give it to him?
[ He'll step out of the way so that she can go see Santa herself. ]