yosuke ❝gay thoughts caught me❞ hanamura (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
youraffection) wrote2016-05-21 11:06 pm
youraffection) wrote2016-05-21 11:06 pm
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video • voice • text ❝ You've reached Yosuke! You know what to do. ❞ [ BEEP! ] action [ Available at his apartment, working, or otherwise. ] 
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He couldn't.
It had been too much, too much...he can't say admitted, but tumbled out of his mouth that felt new and a little terrifying. Things he'd heard from Yu that maybe a part of him had suspected (entertained?), but hadn't been prepared to hear. Not after everything.
Just...just too much.
It's all been too much.
The space has been needed, which is not typical for them. Yosuke usually has no problem attaching himself to Yu's hip as soon as he enters the room, so hopes that they weren't making everyone else uncomfortable. No, Yu wouldn't, at least. Besides, they both thankfully have their priorities of keeping the apartment together as best they can. Yosuke hadn't wanted to sleep in a bed, to be honest, so he holed up on the floor in his room in blankets for a few days. Not the most comfortable, but at least the floor won't try to eat him.
Probably.
He has slept a lot. With all the destruction and his jobs more being on an "on call" basis, they don't really need him. (Really, why try to sell jeans when the store isn't even open?) Sleep is nice. Sleep doesn't betray him. Mostly.
He can't stop his brain from wandering back to everything...well, everything. It's hard not to.
He's actually awake when he hears the notification from his CereVice. It's on vibrate which is what rouses him, just laying down with his eyes closed listening to some music. It helps him unwind. His back pops as he turns over to look at the screen--
--oh.
He's a little hesitant. ]
10:35 AM
yea
surprised?
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A little. You sure you're not sleep texting?
[ Yosuke was the one to break the tension and start them breathing again last time. He's taking responsibility now.
The hollows of his chest feel shivery and insubstantial as he taps at his CereVice, but this is something that needs to be done. It's been a few days now... and they have to talk. It hasn't escaped him that when Yosuke found out they kissed, they were speaking again the next morning even though Yosuke had every right to be angry. But after discussing... what their so-called Shadows discussed...
Silence.
For days.
Not total silence - they both make it their more immediate priority to care for everyone else in the apartment, to keep everyone together and make sure everyone is alright. They can work together on that, if more distantly than usual in a way Rise and Naoto have likely noticed. (... probably Dipper, too, if Yu thinks about it.) But when it comes to their own personal affairs, their friendship... they haven't spoken at all.
Yu tries not to miss him, because it's only been a few days and they're still around each other, and he somehow manages to fail.
He has no idea how this talk will go. Where they'll end up or what they'll decide. All he knows is that it needs to happen. ]
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10:40 AM
no promises
[ It makes joking a little easier, too, although Yosuke feels anything but at ease. Their last actual conversation...or rather the conversation their "Shadows" had still hangs in the air. Pretending it didn't happen isn't something either of them can do, is it?
He's assuming Yu...well, Yu might just be testing the waters, seeing if they can still interact with one another. Has Yosuke pushed him away for too long...? A small wave of panic rises up and he quickly adds, ]
10:41 AM
wats up
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10:42 AM
You know, even with all this technology down, I'm pretty sure airhorns still work.
[ He can't quite bring himself to smile. But the coil in his chest loosens very slightly. ]
10:43 AM
Had breakfast yet?
[ It's not really intentional that this conversation is becoming a beat-for-beat replication of the last time ... well, something like this happened. But... it feels like the most natural way to ease into this. ]
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But he knows that's not the point. ]
10:46 AM
not yet
[ Is he going to wait to see if Yu offers him...?
...Yeah, he kind of wants to see if Yu will. ]
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What's your opinion on pancakes?
[ In a more normal situation he'd be pretty intrigued with the idea of trying a Western-style breakfast. Right now it's just something a little different to try. Plus, this plan gets them out of the apartment and somewhere they can talk. ]
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10:50 AM
depends on the pancake
generally good
[ People are doing crazy things in breakfast art these days. ]
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I know a place staffed by the natives instead of robots. They serve a Western-style breakfast I've been meaning to try... how about it?
[ ...
Pleas say yes... ]
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But he does ask. And Yosuke feels relieved. ]
10:56 AM
id be up 4 it
mind if i shower 1st?
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11:01 AM
Yeah, sure thing.
[ He texts Yosuke a map pin. ]
>11:02 AM
I'll meet you there.
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11:04 AM
yea
c u in 30
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See you soon.
[ Yosuke doesn't need to know he's been there for a while, just kind of loitering nearby.
He'll wait outside for his friend, his CereVice away and his hands in his pockets. He's wearing a turtleneck but no jacket. Not what he might have chosen to wear, but washing machines are in short supply, too. He'll look pensive as Ypsuke finds him, though in truth he's just making a mental list of the appliances they need and where they can look for any that might still be working in the colony...
Of course, he'll notice Yosuke's approach as his friend gets closer and his heart does something swelling and painful that he ignores. He'll lift a hand. ]
Hey.
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They've been tiptoeing around each other for the past few days. Its given Yosuke time to think, but he's still conflicted. He's...confused. And a little afraid.
But he still gets out of bed, gets into the shower, cleans himself up. That's in part for Yu's sake, since he's mostly been rolling around since he woke up. But he's able to make his way to the indicated place on time.
He slows a bit as he sees Yu, his heart skipping a beat and stomach dropping at the same time. He's infinitely more nervous than the last few...breakthroughs they've had. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. So much.
Yosuke waves back, offering an awkward smile, but still a smile. His hair is mostly dry, except for the ends, though it's clear he probably just peaced out as soon as he felt decent. He did want to make it there. ]
Hey. [ He comes to a stop a few feet away. ] Hope I didn't keep you waiting.
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I kind of set the precedent I'd flip a gasket over it.
Yosuke...
This has been bad enough that they've actually been avoiding each other. Yu can't say he hasn't needed the time itself, but given how quickly Yosuke tends to bounce back from things, especially problems between them... is this something they can fix?
... then again ... Yosuke's hair -- it's wet. He came here as soon as he could...
Unable to and not wanting to name how he feels, he tries on a smile himself. ]
Nope. You're right on time. Come on.
[ He'll lead the way inside, where a harried-looking host (it's tough being one of the few restaurants in the city still functioning) escorts them to a table. Yu will swing into his seat, the motion as casual as if nothing were amiss here at all - but the way his fingers hook onto everything, the edge of the table, his menu, the napkin rolled up around his utensils attests to his actual mental state. ]
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Oh yeah... ]
Sorry, this is kind of a late breakfast for you, huh?
[ He says as he slides into the seat across from Yu. His body language says enough and Yosuke definitely picks up on it, his own nervous energy coming out in how he immediately starts to bounce his leg once he's seated. ]
So...you been here before...?
[ He asks as he fiddles with his own menu, not really reading any of the print. ]
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It's alright. I don't mind.
[ He wasn't hungry for most of the day. He hasn't felt hungry much in the days since everything quieted down.
...
God, they're both a mess right now, aren't they? Yosuke's nerves are starting to infect Yu. Normally that wouldn't get to him, but right now... ]
Actually, I haven't. I've passed it by a few times, but never come in.
[ He'd ... wanted to come with-- well.
Yu glances at the menu himself, barely seeing it. ]
It just seemed interesting.
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Why is Yosuke thinking like that? It shouldn't matter. He trusts Yu to be honest with him and...the last time...they were maybe a little too honest. Too honest with things he hadn't even known or refused to think about. It's been...
...
He looks down at the menu with more intent, though his attention still strays. ]
...Well, the pictures look good.
[ Gah, that sounds lame. He glances up over the edge at Yu as he shifts in his seat. ]
...Thanks...by the way.
[ A beat. ]
For, uh...asking me and stuff.
[ Hopefully Yu will know that he does want to be here even if...he doesn't want to be there. But really, he does! With Yu. Like always. It's complicated. ]
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Yosuke probably doesn't want to be here as much as he does want to be here. Yu knows his friend well enough to know that.
A surprised laugh escapes Yu on a quiet huff of breath when Yosuke comments about the pictures. It's ... true. But it's also the kind of comment that really makes it obvious how painfully awkward this situation is. Yu is feeling the same way. He's just not prone to idle chatter like Yosuke is.
His expression is a little softer and a little more sincere when he nods. ]
Of course. I...
[ He pauses for a bit. Whatever he's thinking, it makes the tips of his ears flush red, and he shifts in his seat. The look on his face shifts into something determined. ]
You're my best friend, Yosuke. I'm always going to want to spend time with you.
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It doesn't feel wrong though, even if noticing the subtle pink tint to the cuffs of his ears makes his own grown a little hot. Geez. ]
Y-Yeah... [ He swallows, straightening. ] Me too...
[ Which is why they're together now. With a whole lot hanging over their heads. But...re-establishing that does help a bit. ]
Do y--
[ And, of course, right on cue a server comes over to help them. ]
Are you boys ready to order?
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--and then actually startles when their server come over. For someone as unflappable as Yu Narukami, that's really telling. A bit pink in the face from embarrassment, he smiles at her and nods. He points to an item on the menu and requests it politely, trying to ignore the way he can now feel his heartbeat going just a little quicker than normal in his throat and fingertips.
Once the server's gotten both their orders and departed, Yu clears his throat. ]
You were saying something?
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But once they're alone again, Yosuke looks a little nervous. ]
Uh, well...
[ He rubs the back of his neck. They have to talk about what happened, right? ]
...I'm...not actually sure where to start...
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Yu nods, which is in part a motion to cover his own uncertainty. Quietly, truthfully: ]
... Me either.
[ It's a raw admission for him. It's so rare for Yu to ever admit uncertainty, even if he expresses it in other ways, small ways. If he shows it at all.
He takes a steadying, calming breath. ]
I want you to know, Yosuke... what I said before is still true. Nothing has to change between us.
[ His tone is so ... careful. ]
... I'm still ...
[ This hesitance is so unlike him.
But he's still ...
... Minato ... ]
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Yeah...
[ Nothing has to change.
But something already has, hasn't it? Awareness in and of itself is a factor. They can't go back to before it all happened. ]
I know that we weren't exactly ourselves, but...
[ But they still were, kind of. Shadows are an exaggeration, but not entirely inaccurate. That's the scary part. Yosuke drops his gaze to the table as his hands form loose fists. ]
I mean...you know what I mean...
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And then he shakes his head. ]
Yeah. I know. And that means ... we were ourselves. Just... the darkest parts.
[ God. And what does that say? That he could only admit that he might still have feelings for his best friend when he was composed of only his most twisted feelings. Everything he'd been trying so hard to suppress. ]
... we may not have been able to accept our own Shadows this time, but that just means we'll have to figure out a way to accept each other.
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Yeah. That's it, isn't it?
But...being Yu's friend...and really caring about him aren't bad things, are they? Is thoughts had been twisted and construed into something, but the core was still there. Yu does matter to him. A lot. He's always watching, always keeping pace.
He can accept Yu, but can he actually accept himself this time? ]
...Yeah...I know I sounded like a psycho...
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